Friday, April 24, 2009

The Memory

Today is two years since we lost RP. I got a very sweet phone call this morning, reminding me that at one time I thought I would get to this point without a "kicking, screaming" baby in my life. Lucinda does feel like a miracle at times (like this morning, when I realized she slept for more than 8 hours).

It is true that I wasn't sure it could ever happen for me, and that I am so, so thankful that it has happened. We have a baby with us now.

I told K last night - sometimes, when she is screaming like she was yesterday afternoon, I say to her "This is exactly what I wanted."

A couple of weeks ago K had Lucinda in his arms, doing the bouncy walk around the room with constant narration to keep her distracted from fussiness.

"These are our books, maybe some time you'll read some of them. That's the front door, you have to be careful not to let Addie run out when you open it.

That's a pheasant, your grandfather shot that a long time ago. This is your brother's tree. We'll tell you more about him later."


  1. What shall I say to this? Sending you love from NJ...

  2. I think I've told you that my poor mother lost her first two. I think of them both as my older siblings, and that makes me sure that Lucinda will always think of her big brother with love.

  3. ah, mama. big love to all of you...

  4. Ms. Lutty11:52 AM

    Ive looked at brother's tree many times, but I've never really seen it until now. Maybe it's something about it standing against the white background. It's beautiful. Here's to thinking of you guys and RP.

  5. what a beautiful post... And for this, you get My PMS-fueled tears this morning! Yesterday it was some old man eating alone, followed by some news story about a kid who is sick... but today, you get my happy/proud/wow-isnt-life-crazaay tears :)