Dull as Dirt

Tell me internets - is there anything more boringer than reading about another women's weight issue? I don't think there is. (you're right, there's a big butt coming here)

BUT. I have them. You have them! We all have weight issues. It is one of the things that bind us together - that and fallopian tubes. And our distrust of department store mirrors. And our desire to look better than each other. Oh, and denial. DENIAL is what brings us togevah, today.

But back to my weight issues. I am a lot like Melissa over at Suburban Bliss. I am lazy. I don't want to think about it all the fucking time. I have tried different strategies and whatever thinking it was that helped me lose weight at the time didn't imprint itself in my brain, I have not been successful at "creating healthy habits" or whatever it is you're supposed to do at Weight Watchers. As disgusted as I can feel when I look at my fat gut in the mirror - as horrified as I was staring at myself while getting my hair cut today - I kind of think that when it comes down to it, I don't hate myself enough to be skinny. Maybe that's the fatass talking.

Not that I don't kind of hate myself. But losing weight feels like punishment to me. It feels like retribution. Like I am earning back my soul from the purgatory of conventionally-unattractive land. And here's the thing! I have good, healthy, non-appearance-based reasons for losing weight! I have high blood pressure and want to get pregnant. I think it would be cool to have a natural birth. I want my body to be strong and able to handle whatever it is that nature throws its way when it's growing a parasite baby. But I don't want to suffer, and I have not found a way to lose weight that doesn't feel exactly like suffering. Sure, I get to feel superior, but since when is feeling morally superior a good thing?

But! Enough about my fat ass! What do you think of my hair?

Evidence

Today for my office party we did one of those murder mystery dinner things. My team won. It was just as cheesy as you might imagine, and it felt a little like we were in the slow class because the "detective" guy kept explaining. things. very. slowly. and. clearly. and. repeating. key. points.

Anyway, here is some EVIDENCE. that you may want to LOOK. OVER. because IT. COULD. PROVE. that my LAST. POST. was not just a LIE.

Here's the Whitney Pastorek, in the flesh, eating some tasty Amy's coffee ice cream with strawberry crush-ins.


Here she is about to perform the Journey Operetta


Here is John, happy with busting balls at the Showdown.

I Beg Your Pardon, I Never Promised You a Blog Garden

I have a confession – I haven’t been so busy that I couldn’t blog. Just that lately I am not so great at coming up with things to say over here. I feel like I am running out of things to say all the time. I’ll be sitting at dinner with the Mr. and I’ll struggle to think of another question to ask, or subject to broach, or really anything to talk about. I’ll be in the car with a friend and it is the same thing – I’m wandering around the conversational landscape, and I can find no where to go that I haven’t been before, or that I think my companion wants to visit. I’m all in favor of companionable silence, but I think that lately both my silences and my chatter hasn’t been especially interesting or comfortable. Not really sure why.

I wonder if perhaps the new has worn off of the move to Austin, and although we are comfortable here we are not totally COMFORTABLE here. We love the house (and I’m so excited about redo-ing the kitchen) but we’re a little… OBSESSED with all of the new and wonderful things that home-owning has brought us. The Mr. seems able to talk about little other than the garden. We kind of touched on it this weekend, but I wonder if it is because he has hit a wall with our Austin life and so has just retreated to the house and yard, where his efforts are immediately visible. I had thought that we would visit DC this spring, see friends and new babies and generally catch the people that I feel have dropped out of our lives now that we don’t live there, but he poo-poo’d the idea after initially seeming to approve.

Neither one of us are friend-making geniuses (sometimes I think my friend LS in DC should give classes – “How To Make Friends By Doing Things and Inviting People to Join You Without Being Annoying or Self-Conscious About It” – I would sign up with a quickness) and the fact that we already have a few friends here means that we have really not worked at all to expand our social circle. But to be honest our friends list is short, and should be extended. But our little house is so safe, and we invite people to do things but then we don’t feel like invitations are pouring in to us (except for wonderful Shanntastic, who invited us but we didn’t go! We really do suck at this!) and well, let’s just stay in tonight – okay? Okay.

This past weekend we had a breath of freshness in the form of one Whitney Pastorek visit. Man, amazing what going out and doing things can do for you! I got to meet all sorts of literary visionaries, including the Rock Star Neal Pollack. Bars! Booze! Readings! Musical Performances! Oh MY!

Of course I had to spend pretty much all of Sunday afternoon laid out on the couch, after getting so little sleep with my boozy fun two nights in a row. But, it was worth it to feel like I had a real social life again, back in some of my favorite Austin spots (Club deVille and The Showdown). Beer-soaked good times, y’all.

Picture Nose

Oh, jeez. I finally uploaded a bunch of pictures to flickr, and am actually learning how to work the organizr part ot it. I'm slow. What is it with me no longer being interested in that sort of thing? Like, I really am turning into an old lady about my cell phone, but that is another post I guess.

Anyway, here you go. Mucho excitement! Garden, dogs, quilt - what was it that I was saying about being an old lady? Ach, my aching back! Where are my glasses?

Lift Us Up

According to The Pink Dome, this is an Aggie basketball player named Chris Edwards. Oh, oh my goodness. Dude, I feel your pain - I thought it was boring there, too. But thank god I didn't have access to a webcam and Google Video!

Insomnia

Oh my goodness y'all, I've got it bad. It is 12:46 in the A-M and you're watching...
Perspectives (are we the only ones who make that old SNLr eference constantly? Like, whenever one of us asks the other what time it is? Oh. Kay.)

SO, I have so much I could tell y'all! I could tell you all about the ulcer in my mouth right now, but who wants to hear about burning sensations? Gah, work stress. So freaking fun.

I could tell you about the new development of - get this - ZITS, of all things, on my NECK, of all places. What the fuck is up with that? My thought: this is a sign from Up Above that my hair is too long and I should have it chopped right off. I think I might do it, too!

I wish I could find the stupid camera somewhere in this godforsaken dark house (don't want to turn any lights on, for some reason), so that I could post all of the super-exciting pictures loaded therein. Like tomato plants!! Ooooh, isn't that exciting?? And new blinds in the bedroom! Yay Target! (say that so it rhymes - isn't that fun?) And all of the crap I brought home from the QUILT store of all places? How about a "what the fuck" on that one, shall we? But here's the thing - I am so thoroughly excited about the possibility of Quilting Something - Anything! that that is what I've been pondering for the last two and a half hours as I lay in my bed.

Come on, all together - What The Fuck Is That About?